Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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