so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Come see our sink grown plant.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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