i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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