3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
