I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
