I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
