talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I want a musical about memes.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
