maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
