I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
