i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
try to milk me bitch
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