Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
