so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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