Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize