quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
