He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
