I've blown a few things in my day
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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