If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
