That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
