I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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