I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
