Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
