I got chris browned last night
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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