umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
