Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
It was confusing and full of hummus
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize