you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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