It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
