His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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