How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
