I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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