I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
