sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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