i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I wish you could order shots online.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
These tits shall not be calmed
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
