so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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