you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
