you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
