Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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