I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
