Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
