uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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