I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
