i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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