I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
