THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
