k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
