nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
being pregnant is like rehab
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
