So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
