I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
