when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
