Duck Duck Cougar?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
