They should really pass out barf bags in church
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
