You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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