The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
