I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
