you guys were way drunker than both of me
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
