dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
