I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
