He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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