Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
