On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
