my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
