Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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