he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
