all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
