Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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