Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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