# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
