We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
