i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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