This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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