Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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