i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
