yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Randomize
